Source: Why I Named My Blog fiveof9
Going about my merry way I witnessed a mom roll her eyes when she was asked about her son. She said she wishes that he was doing things differently in his life. I couldn’t help but wonder why she thinks he needs to be doing things differently and what at this point has inspired him? If he’s living with a parent that wishes he was doing things differently, unless of course it is something harmful, that parent is subconsciously exuding a negative attitude toward him thus creating underlying friction, ultimately wrecking havoc on the relationship. By acknowledging her son’s decisions, a conversation would take place for her to understand why he is making the decisions that he is. For example, let’s assume the son wants to take a gap year before going off to college. If she simply says, “Wow!” “I’m surprised to hear you say that.” “Tell me more about what you are thinking in terms of what you would like to do in the interim.?” She now has the opportunity to discuss his view. The conversation exists and she learns that her son has given much consideration to his decision. Do you suppose her comment to her friend would have been a lot different?
Knowing this young man is a senior in high school, I found myself wondering what conversations may have taken place over time in the home to build trust? How did she handle conversations related to emotions? It seems that struggling with emotions without a grasp on how to label them would hinder one’s maturity. Was this going on in their home? Did her son feel violated or not fully accepted? Was he ever able to express his thoughts or have help labeling his emotions? Teens are bombarded with social aspects and hormones that contribute to their struggle and development. As a parent, it is our responsibility to help our children navigate these bumpy roads. Hoping our kids make different choices may actually hinder their progress as they discover their true identity.
It may seem like teens don’t want to engage in conversation but think twice! What they think is real and what we know, is that they need help sorting it all out. Who do you want leading them? Finding a time to be one-on-one in conversation is key to building trust and a place for them to reveal their thoughts. It has been said that if a teen is struggling, one of the best things you can do is go for a drive and drive for as long as you need to until they open up.
This poor mom, one might think, must feel unequipped. We only have so many tools before we head back to the hardware store for more. Helping our kids grow up is not an easy task. Researching, asking others who have gone before and applying principles of love enables us to help them be their best. Teens need tools just like adults. Engaging with teens emotionally and intellectually builds healthy relationships and fosters mentoring for the many challenges they face.
Do you suppose, had the mom turned the thought around, that perhaps she should be doing things different in his life? That maybe she might be able to be more at ease with his decisions? That he would feel accepted if she did? Allowing our kids to explore within the confines of house rules helps them with their own decision-making skills. These practices of acknowledging and engaging in conversation about their actions and motives builds trust. Humans want to belong and impress. To whom do you want your kids to impress? I hope it is you as the one that they can trust and rely on. Your home then rests in love and respect. Ideas are honored, accountability resides, discovery is encouraged, structure reflects boundaries and forgiveness is vital when we make poor decisions. Our leadership in the home prepares them for the leadership they seek and experience outside the home. The bumpy roads they experience living on their own hopefully are overcome by way of consulting with their Creator. There the silver lining of expectations exist. Pure and of truth.
Contemplating blogging was challenging enough. What IS blogging, I wonder, and how do I do it? After reading several blogs I realized that blogging is simply someone typing out their thoughts as they ponder them. So what can be so hard about blogging once a week or daily? Time, passion, values, commitment, choice…those are a few of the reasons one would consider, prior to answering the question, “Why I named my Blog fiveof9.” The reason I named my blog fiveof9 is because I am the fifth child of nine my mother gave birth to. I liked spelling out five and using a numeral for nine.
Using this name gave me an “identity” as a blogger. Something fun and intriguing I figured. My true identify is simply that I am a child of Christ. That is my identity that grounds me in all of my decisions, actions and relationships.
The fact that I was the fifth child born gives me a “rank” that many in our culture will give much attention to. The belief that children born in between siblings tend to have certain behavioral traits that first or last child don’t. Rather than identifying myself with such mayhem, my identity in Christ is much simpler in that it encompasses one word and that word is, Love.
Love is what I move forward with and in. This side of Heaven (here on earth) I reside in my flesh and strive to be of love in all my encounters. I don’t always live up to that but it is always my goal. I allow myself the pleasure of grace as Christ has done for me.
To those of you that actually take the time to read this: May the love of Christ, by your choice of accepting Him in your heart, be the everlasting state of your heart and soul to share with others.
As a homemaker and mother of two, my kids have always been a top priority. Understanding who Christ is, my first! Growing up, church was a place we went to every Sunday and Wednesday for catechism. What struck me a few years back about this schedule is that attending these services instilled in me some great truths and a great deal of memorized ritual. The values instilled in me are still with me today and my children experience that as a result.
Being a homemaker has it’s many challenges. Working solo is great, yet there are times when the mundane of each day can be overwhelming. I am thankful for the freedom I have to study my Bible. Being a homemaker allows me to take as much time as I need to read then meditate on the written word. I marvel at the truths that have been revealed to me over the years. And as I am guided, my home reaps the rewards of my obedience.
Working through all my shame, learning what forgiveness means and finding out what “it’s not about you” truly means, has allowed me to be a more peaceful mother. Letting go of all of these burdens has allowed me to break free of the perception of who I labeled myself to be. Going about my day is all about me in “my actions about Him!”
When my actions are about following Christ, I am S T R E T C H I N G for Christ. I marvel at how much my attitude and actions have changed over time. The confidence I buried has blossomed into a desire that can be of use now. The negative ideas have been rerouted up to Him and always when they try and return, my habit is to focus on Christ and they vanish. This allows me to be my best most of the time. I am now available for His will for His Glory.
Making Christ a priority has molded me into the follower He so desires. I will never be perfect on this side of heaven but following a leader that looks over me 24/7 simply guarantees that no matter what, He is always there. I have a Master with a plan, and in stretching myself in whatever direction, He will always be my center.
Homemaking is so rewarding. Following Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit to move me is the best therapy, I could ever ask for. My faith has moved me into a new way of thinking and doing. I no longer need a “worldly” attitude to maneuver through society. Leading by example is one tough act to follow but I’m sure going to give homemaking my all by following a leader I can trust and am eager to obey. The reward is more than words can describe and homemaking has never been better.
May the love that Christ has for you and your home, give you guidance and an eager heart to understand all He so desires for you so that you too can experience a little of that most-wonderful feeling that permeates your soul and ultimately your homemaking.
Really now? Free with respect? Is that what your home envelops? Are you? What are you doing to claim that you respect your whole self? As “mom-in-chief” you can fill these shoes. Simply, it is our most-urgent necessity for respecting those we nurture. How free, with respect, are you and those in your home?
Is your reflection providing freedom, completeness, worth, love, acceptance, grace, truth? Are your interactions allowing those that live with you to explore their reflection? Or do you reflect control, fear, pride, comparison, competition, revenge and legalism? Build your reflection upon the strength of your Maker! He will encourage you and mold you into His most-desirable state. Submission and obedience unveils revelation and instills the core of which you were intended.
Clarity. Perseverance. Action. You are an amazing mother, with intentions of good for those you are caring for. Be free to love and care for each other in awe of the maturity of growth. Both in yourself and those you are yielding to. Watch them in awe. Did you ever plant a seed and marvel at the force in which it was able to sprout out of the soil? Marvel at the strength it takes those you care for (that includes yourself) to move through their walk. Enable them to experience and discover who they are In-Christ.
With respect, truth and grace, nurture their nature. Establish the ground so that water will flow to their roots and allow them to grow free (In-Christ) with respect (to themselves and others) in their environment.
How do these words of encouragement, reflect my nature of growth, and encourage you?
With my eyes closed, the warmth of the covers embrace the new day. “Good morning dear Heavenly Father!” As I pray in thanks for a new day, it is not long after that I am pondering tasks for the day. Sipping my cup of “joe”, I relish the moment of peace and quiet. Centered In-Christ, I think about the list of things to do for the day. Somehow within the time I start thinking about all that I need to do and want to do, I lose my grounding and fall easily into such a negative mode! I think, “Where did my Father go?” Well, “He never left!”
Staying grounded is more of a question of, “Where did my thoughts go?” Sometimes homemaking can seem so arduous and isolating. I do love the autonomy though of being a homemaker and leading the charge. It’s the self-discipline that I continuously bargain with every day in my thoughts, my feelings of being overwhelmed and my actions that prove it. Without discipline I lose focus. Subsequently, lack of prioritizing and follow-through results into negative thoughts. Keeping perspective is challenging while being productive in the home.
Staying productive throughout the day is certainly attainable. There is only so much time in a day to devote ourselves to the purpose of our being. Planning your work and working your plan is an idea I learned many moons ago. Ya think I might use that! I love making a list to start my day and marvel at how many times I am distracted just trying to accomplish and focus on one of the tasks. A productive homemaker is one that continuously realigns their priorities throughout the day. Read that again! Each day the demands of motherhood can move us off-track of what we set out to do. Making a plan and having some “wiggle” room can alleviate a lot of unwanted negative emotions. Knowing that your focus on your list will require flexibility.
Let’s simplify “productive.” Make a list of all the things you want to have done. Organize it into three groups, 1) tasks that need to be done today, 2) tasks that take more than one day and 3) tasks that require someone you hire, for example. The list of tasks on your daily list may include, prayer time, assemble lunches, make appointments, shop for project supplies, schedule/research vacation, call/read for advice, make dinner, shop for the week, clean floors, brush cat, family meeting, date with spouse, child or friend, help with homework. Tasks that take more than one day may include, plant a garden, hang collage of pictures on wall or perhaps build something. Tasks that require hiring someone like a remodel or home maintenance project. Now go back over each group assigning tasks from each one to your daily list. Keep in mind things like phone calls, interviews and trips to stores. Each item listed requires an action from you to complete the project. Since you only have so much time in one day, only add what is doable in one day. This process helps you visualize what you can complete each day without getting overwhelmed with the whole picture. Looking at your list may seem overwhelming but it allows you to look at all the things you see as being important or of interest to you in your life.
There is only so much time in one day. Making that initial list is going to be key in showing you how much you would like to get done. This is your reality check!!! Breaking that list down so you have manageable time each day to complete each item contributes to establishing self-discipline and direction. As you practice this routine, what you can accomplish in a day will become more realistic. Your choices each day become more directed and purposeful. This process shows you what you choose to incorporate into your day. Whether it is perusing the internet, social media, caring for your family and home or a hobby, these priorities you are choosing give you a perspective of what you value.
Align yourself with your Master! (Caution: Don’t make your list your master) Make your list, refine your list, and move forward giving thanks throughout your day as you serve your Master, extending grace as it is given to you. Practicing these simple ideas may assist you in your selfless acts of love resulting in peace within yourself. Being mindful and at peace is then projected in everything you do.
May your day be filled with laughter and love as you complete each task you have put before you. Be thankful. Share your discovery with others on this post so they too can overcome the idea that we don’t need to make our list our master!
Happy homemaking today!
“It’s time to go!”, I call out to my daughter as she swiftly collects all she needs for school. Crash! Off track, shoes falling off the shelf she struggles to balance and grasp both shoes. “Slow down”, I suggest as she makes her way outside slinging her backpack across her back and bending over to retrieve her shoe. “If you slow down, you won’t get hurt and you can make your way with ease.” Those words left me contemplating my own actions as the front door closed.
Trepidation consumed me and I wrestled with the thought that lead me to a place of silence and solace. Grounded, it was then, that I could see how shoes falling reflected the pace in which we live. As “mom in chief” mode, I bowed my head for clarity. Love, joy and peace covered my heart and each task before me I vowed would be covered in that reality. So easily the choice can be made.
Like shoes falling off the shelf so too can my attitude. Creating an environment that nurtures peace, love and joy is not something you are going to obtain without help. Guidance for our children requires steadfast truths. Learning first yourself then leading by example. What kind of leader are you following? Do you emulate your leader’s example? Keep your shoes on the shelf!
Walking in the shoes of a leader has many challenges. Stand up to the challenge and learn new ways of leading those who are looking up to you for guidance. Give them room to walk and guide them so the shoes stay on the shelf.
Have fun parenting today!
Rushing over the windshield, rain, like thoughts, clouded my vision. Wipers erased the rain like thought-change relieves suffering pouring over my soul. As I started to hydroplane, a part of me lurched, as if I too, were slipping until corrected and realined. Accelerated speed enhanced the downpour and the upkeep of the wipers cleared my sight. Entranced in the beauty of the golden road, my soul relieved; the rain was done. Each mile behind me embraced the sweet smell of fresh air only rain can provide. Washed and shiny in a light that emotes a distinction between washout and wet. Wet with the glossy shine only rain provides. Every dust particle removed in newness and shine.
Do you ever wonder how your thoughts can take you down a most destructive path? Choice! Choose to turn your wipers on or remain driving with a clouded vision. Wipers provide clarity and truth. Sometimes our wipers need adjusting to the downpour of thoughts like rain on a windshield and depending on how fast you are driving exhaserbates the stream of thoughts. Adjust your speed according to the weather. And choose to use your wipers so the rain that floods your view when driving around will add clarity to the true you.