How Clean is My Energy?

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I was thinking about what happened and feeling so much turmoil when the words: clean energy captured my attention.  I even said it out loud to myself, “Clean Energy”.  It was in that very moment that I wondered, “How clean is my energy?”  There was this publication, North American CleanEnergy setting on the coffee table and it had nothing to do with how I was feeling, but the words on the publication diverted my focus to the thought, that somehow, I have disturbed someone and toxic energy could be the culprit.

I wrestled with my soul in trying to identify where I must have gone wrong in this encounter. I went over in my mind what was said and how it was said.  “What did I want to know and how did I ask that set this person off – again!?  When I realized how I asked the question, I figured the way I asked could be what struck a chord with the other person and perhaps sent them to a toxic place. With clean energy in the headlines before our eyes every day as it applies to our environments, it occurred to me today; what about personal energy environments?

With the notion that I strive to come from a place of love, I thought, “I wonder how many people don’t perceive me that way?  Do they think I am challenging them personally when I try to understand something for myself? Do my actions offend them?” Perhaps my energy is toxic! I set out to explore that for myself.  With the understanding that not everyone is going to like me.

With the notion that my energy is toxic, I would conclude that my impact on others would be pretty messy. Emotions tell all. Figuring out what to do in a situation is not always easy if you are not trained to know what to do.

On the contrary, “What is clean energy?” To me, clean energy is when someone is authentic and genuine. Their energy comes from love. They strive to experience life the way they are wired and be true to who they are.  They try to live their lives out on Earth as if they are in Heaven.

What happens when clean energy is misconstrued? I believe that when we are not received in the way that we intend to be received, discord prevails. What do you do when you feel discord? How do you overcome?

In the renewable energy space, clean energy is revealed as: sunlight, rain, tides, wind, waves, and heat. Using these words as examples, here are my antonyms:

Sunlight – Dark
Rain – Dry
Tides – Stagnate
Wind – Still
Waves – No wind
Heat – Cold

The opposite of clean energy (my definition) is a place that still has energy but if you stay there long enough, you may crave clean energy.

I like to think that I am clean energy in the way that I have defined it.  Ontologically speaking, it is the way in which I hope to conduct myself wherever I go.  I ask myself, “How is my being?” I ask that often to check in with myself so that I can get clear on where I may be off.  When I am feeling toxic, I like to get understanding around why I am feeling that way.  The results are satisfying in that I usually find out that I have not dealt with something in my heart.

When you are faced with a situation that feels uneasy. Consider what may be going on for the other person. Do they have something going on that they need help with? Do you perhaps need to consider how you may be coming across? Examine your heart.  Are you truly engaging in conversation to create conflict for the sake of it or are you being you and offending someone?  If you are coming from toxic energy then recognize that and go talk to that person.  Apologize! But if you are not coming from toxic energy then perhaps that person needs to come to you.  My tendency in these situations is to ask the person I feel conflict with what is bothering them.  In this case, with the history I have with them and the witnessing I’ve seen with many others, I don’t feel like I would be well-received.  I believe it is best to remain true to who I am and allow them to discover what it is that ails them.  It is also best for me to acknowledge that I need to remove myself from the situation.

Feeling that your energy may not be clean and is affecting others can drive someone like me absolutely nuts.  I’ve moved with caution for years always putting my best foot forward to be me.  I like to think of myself as someone always intrigued with anyone I see.  A seed that started that was from observing my dad as a young girl.  I always noticed how he greeted people in our community. He always had a smile and energy that engaged people and in hopes of brightening their day.  I can honestly say, that is my image that I go forth with.  I was also inspired by a woman at a retreat I was at just after my parent’s divorce when I was in the 6th grade.  She asked me where my smile was as she smiled at me.  I noticed I smiled back to her.  She then said with such a delightful smile at me, “Smiling is contagious, do you see how that works?”  (makes my heart sing still to this day!) She inspired me to try it with the next person I saw.  So I did.  I smiled at the next person and they smiled back.  From then on, I always tried to do that and now it is just a part of who I am.

When I moved to Seattle as a young lady I learned with “street smarts” you should walk purposefully and not engage in people’s eyes.  Then later in life I decided that I could catch people’s eyes with love in my heart to simply greet them with a smile as I am walking down the street and moving along.

So I say, go about your business and continue to be clean energy that moves through time.  Pray for peace in circumstances.  Pray for the person you witness is having a hard time.  Pray that they will overcome.  Pray that your soul reveals any sort of truth that you may be trying to harm them.  And if you are, be very clear about why.  Then schedule a meeting and apologize for the discord you found in your heart that has shook them up so much.  And if you are overwhelmed with the feeling like I have experienced over and over throughout the years, move on.  It’s time.  No sense in feeling like you have done wrong to someone when you never, ever, had a toxic motive in your heart.

Have a wonderful day and as I always tell my kids, “Share your smile!”

Have you ever encountered this yourself?  How did you overcome?

Silver Lining of Expectations

Shadows of doubt can hinder one's journey

Shadows of doubt can hinder one’s journey

Going about my merry way I witnessed a mom roll her eyes when she was asked about her son. She said she wishes that he was doing things differently in his life. I couldn’t help but wonder why she thinks he needs to be doing things differently and what at this point has inspired him? If he’s living with a parent that wishes he was doing things differently, unless of course it is something harmful, that parent is subconsciously exuding a negative attitude toward him thus creating underlying friction, ultimately wrecking havoc on the relationship. By acknowledging her son’s decisions, a conversation would take place for her to understand why he is making the decisions that he is. For example, let’s assume the son wants to take a gap year before going off to college. If she simply says, “Wow! I’m surprised to hear you say that. Tell me more about what you are thinking in terms of what you would like to do in the interim?” She now has the opportunity to discuss his view. 

Knowing this young man is a senior in high school, I found myself wondering what conversations may have taken place over time in the home to build trust? How did she handle conversations related to emotions? It seems that struggling with emotions without a grasp on how to label them would hinder one’s maturity. Was this going on in their home? Did her son feel he was violated or not fully accepted? Was he ever able to express his thoughts or have help labeling his emotions? Teens are bombarded with social aspects and hormones that contribute to their struggle and development. As a parent, it is our responsibility to help our children navigate these bumpy roads. Hoping our kids make different choices may actually hinder their progress as they discover their true identity.

It may seem like teens don’t want to engage in conversation but think twice! What they think is real and what we know, is that they need help sorting it all out. Who do you want leading them? Finding a time to be one-on-one in conversation is key to building trust and a place for them to reveal their thoughts. It has been said that if a teen is struggling, one of the best things you can do is go for a drive and drive for as long as you need to until they open up.

This poor mom, one might think, must feel unequipped. We only have so many tools before we head back to the hardware store for more. Helping our kids grow up is not an easy task. Researching, asking others who have gone before and applying principles of love enables us to help them be their best. Teens need tools just like adults. Engaging with teens emotionally and intellectually builds healthy relationships and fosters mentoring for the many challenges they face.

Do you suppose, had the mom turned the thought around, that perhaps she should be doing things different in his life? That maybe she might be able to be more at ease with his decisions? That he would feel accepted if she did? Allowing our kids to explore within the confines of house rules helps them with their own decision-making skills. These practices of acknowledging and engaging in conversation about their actions and motives builds trust. Humans want to belong and impress. To whom do you want your kids to impress? I hope it is you as the one that they can trust and rely on. Your home then rests in love and respect. Ideas are honored, accountability resides, discovery is encouraged, structure reflects boundaries and forgiveness is vital when we make poor decisions. Our leadership in the home prepares them for the leadership they seek and experience outside the home. The bumpy roads they experience living on their own hopefully are overcome by way of consulting with their Creator. There the silver lining of expectations exist. Pure and of truth.

S T R E T C H I N G for Christ

Make the world a little kinder

Make the world a little kinder

As a homemaker and mother of two, my kids have always been a top priority. Understanding who Christ is, my first! Growing up, church was a place we went to every Sunday and Wednesday for catechism. What struck me a few years back about this schedule is that attending these services instilled in me some great truths and a great deal of memorized ritual. The values instilled in me are still with me today and my children experience that as a result.

Being a homemaker has it’s many challenges. Working solo is great, yet there are times when it seems so mundane and some days can be overwhelming. When I am feeling that way, I am thankful for the freedom I have to sit down in that moment sometimes and study my Bible. I marvel at the truths that have been revealed to me over the years. And as I am guided, my home reaps the rewards of my obedience.

Working through all my shame, learning what forgiveness means and finding out what “It’s not about you,” truly means, has allowed me to be a more peaceful mother. Letting go of all of these burdens has allowed me to break free of the perception of who I labeled myself to be. Going about my day is “all about me” in my actions about Him!

Looking up.

Looking up.

When my actions are about following Christ, I am S T R E T C H I N G for Christ. I am practicing every moment. I’m far from perfect! Obedience requires me to stretch!  I marvel at how much my attitude and actions have changed over time and I am truly thankful. The transformation of my soul because of my belief in Him humbles me. The confidence I once knew is buried and overcome by confidence of truth now.  The peace from trusting in Him is hard to describe. It surely has influenced my home.  The stretch is for Him and it is the power of the Holy Spirit that I am thankful for.

Making Christ a priority has molded me into the follower He so desires. I will never be perfect on this side of heaven but following a leader that is with me 24/7 simply guarantees that no matter what, He is always there. I have a Master with a plan, and in stretching myself in whatever direction, He will always be my center.

Homemaking is so rewarding. Following Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit to move me is the best therapy, I could ever ask for. My faith has moved me into a new way of thinking and doing. I no longer need a “worldly” attitude to maneuver through society. Leading by example is one tough act to follow but I’m sure going to give homemaking my all by following a leader I can trust and am eager to obey. The reward is more than words can describe and homemaking has never been better.

Home is where the heart is.

Home is where the heart is.

May the love that Christ has for you and your home, give you guidance and an eager heart to understand all He so desires for you so that you too can experience a little of that most-wonderful feeling that permeates your soul and ultimately your homemaking.